I have listed in a couple of places what this blog is about:
“It’s a story of aging and retirement, parenthood, adoption, birds, parrots, animals, the kinship of all life and following our inner light no matter what crazy direction that leads us.”
I left something out: love. Interspecies love. Love between man and bird. A kind of love about which we know very little – which I heretofore did not know existed. Are birds capable of love? I did not know.
We know about love between person and dog, though we are still continuing to learn. See this about the pitbull-human connection. They are the most misunderstood dog breed.
One writer (who i can’t trace back – do you know the quote? Tell me the source) said “if you give a parrot everything they want, they will return it to you tenfold in love and devotion.”
Oliver, on our first real visit, perched himself on my shoulder and started to give my ear little nibbles – unbelievably gentle for such a big, hard beak…how is it even possible for him to do this? So tender – I’m making it up that this is tenderness, but what else? Is it not affection? A little precursor to love…a form of love?
I’m starting to get some clues to what has been so mysterious to me in my quest for a parrot. Is it not the burgeoning of love – for reasons I don’t understand? Is this the reason that my heart has been opening to everyone connected with Oliver – Ann and Nicole and Jennifer? Is this the reason I have been so preoccupied with Oliver, since our first mini-encounter (3 minutes) with each other?
This could maybe explain my oscillation between moving towards Oliver and then pulling back – my reticence about claiming that I intend to foster and then adopt him, even when it is as clear as the nose on my face.
I’m afraid to love! I know this. I’ve known this for a long time. Love makes me happier than anything else. Opening my heart is what I want more than anything else in life – and it scares the shit out of me.
This realization may make my ongoing process of getting to know Oliver clearer, maybe easier…as I craft my questions for Visit 3 – and then have that visit, in three days – as I go through this whole courtship.
As I write here for you, keeping this in mind may cause the whole process I’m going through to come into clearer focus. I’m falling in love – and just maybe Oliver is too.